The Good Life

  Marriage is one of the vital areas that forgiveness is also very much needed. The union of two imperfect individuals living under one roof for a lifetime can be a very challenging situation that will demand continuous improvement in the habit of forgiveness; otherwise, it will be a hell for both of them and the children that will join later on. It is so easy and common to be offended and hurt by your spouse since the two of you are humans, imperfect and living together for that matter. You might be offended by his/her words, actions or reactions, unpleasant gestures, and attitude. Even food, Bible study, lateness to church, lovemaking, etc. can bring a misunderstanding that can make one or both couples hurt. But, despite it all, there must be forgiveness.  The problem is that we know very well that human beings are imperfect and full of mistakes because of their weaknesses, but as soon as we get married, we forget all that and expect our partner to be infallible so we get of...

How to Forgive Your Fellow Pastor or Leader Most of the time, many pastors and leaders pretend all is well between themselves and their fellow leaders, yet they will be hurting deep inside their hearts. They have no one to talk to, of course because they are the leaders. When they hear another leader or member talking about the ones they were offended by, they get angry within. Whatever the case may be, it is an offense and must be forgiven, it doesn't matter the severity or intensity. Maybe, this fellow pastor lied on you before other pastors or he conspired against you, or maybe you received a certain favor but he was jealous so he spoke against it before a congregation. Maybe a fellow leader or man of God said you are fake and doesn't come from God. This has made you hurt, and bitterness may have set in. I believe you want to forgive but you don't know how, maybe you are thinking if you use the old ways of calling or going to the person to talk it over, the person may ...

Many have been hurt by a whole family through neglect and rejection. A whole family has to do with both grandparents, parents, uncles, aunties, brothers, and sisters, etc. There is such a thing as whole family neglect or rejection because I have personally met people who have shared their stories with me how they were neglected and rejected by their whole family, none of them ever wanted to and ever helped them until someone they never knew from anywhere helped them to become who and what they are today. Some even didn't have anyone, they had to struggle, hustle, punished themselves with jobs they were not supposed to do, some had to borrow from friends to pay fees and now they have reached where they are today. Maybe you are a victim of such situations and you feel like you don't have a biological family anymore or you may know someone who has gone through what I am talking about here. Help yourself or somebody with this solution: I know by now you have consumed and built ...

There are a lot of bad things that have happened to many people, and we don't want to pretend they never happened. They did happen, and many are still happening that is causing bitterness in most people in our churches, communities, families, companies, countries, etc. And the mass seems not to notice them, or they just overlooked. People are dying inside, no one to talk to concerning their hurt. Some even commit suicide as a result of these problems. Those who are still alive don't know what exactly to do, so they wish it never happened to them, but unfortunately, it has already happened.   Someone's father didn't take care of him or her, but now by the grace of God, (s)he is blessed, and the person is contemplating "can I forgive my father?". Someone also, her mother threw her away or left her somewhere when she was a baby, but through the grace of God, a good Samaritan picked her, and now she's grown up and blessed. She is now asking herself, "...

  How to Forgive an Ungrateful Person   An ungrateful person here is the one who pays you with evil after you have helped him or done good to him. This is a very serious and sad issue, where some people have helped friends, nephews, nieces, brothers, sisters, church members, etc. Some even do well by picking up the homeless on the street, accommodate and feed them, but the sad thing is that these people they helped, pay them with evil. Others go as far as disgracing the very same people that helped them. But the glorious and joyful thing here is that you can forgive this ungrateful person and heal from the hurt or the bitterness with its negative consequences on you. This is how; you know the first thing to do; build yourself with the strategic steps presented in my other post (how to forgive); having a willing heart, love, long-suffering, and hope.  Secondly, understand that man is generally ungrateful and the expectation from man hurts so much, therefore, anytime ...

  How to Forgive Someone Who Accused You Falsely   Being human means we're wired with a longing to be seen and understood. It's exasperating to be accused of something we're not doing, especially when there's no surefire way to defend ourselves. Being falsely accused of something you did not do can feel like psychological torture. It's important, to be honest with yourself; Here, I'm not saying that what you were accused of is true, however, maybe there is something you did or said, and that is what the accuser used as a stepping stone to build that accusation. Maybe you are emotionally or too physically attached to someone (probably a Lady, if its about marital affairs) which gave them the chance to accuse you falsely. Agree to yourself that you gave them the chance. Then the next is: Remembering Who You Are; Perhaps the most important thing when being falsely accused is to stay connected to your version of the truth rather than allow yourself to be def...

  How to Forgive a Partner Who Broke Your Heart   When we say someone broke your heart, then it means the person promised to marry you and later left you when you were almost through to the marriage ceremony. I have had one on one talk with people who have suffered from this thing called "Broken heart". Most are women, only a few happened to be men. Mostly women are the ones that become victims of broken hearts, and some find it very difficult to overcome that, not even to talk about forgiving the offenders. A sister told me she and her partner were together in courtship for nine (9) years, almost through, and the exact year they promised themselves marriage, in the first month of the year, the man called her only to tell her that he is no longer interested in the relationship. She was very hurt in her heart and that is a brokenhearted Lady, so can she forgive this man for wasting her time? Another sister told me she had been with her partner for four (4) years, he pr...

  How to Forgive an Irresponsible Father or a Careless Mother   An irresponsible father is a man who didn't take care of his child. Some men for whatever reasons refuse to take care of their biological children, some use their money to take care of girlfriends and other things, others though didn't have much but they never made any effort that they even care, some also didn't take care of their children because of the influences or spells of a second wife or a friend. A careless mother is a woman who abandoned her child either when she was a baby or a little grown-up. Some do that as a result of teenage pregnancy or because they did not get a husband or someone to father her child. Others do that because of fear of shame or stigmatization from peers or family.   If you are a victim and suffered from such careless parent(s), what must you do since you have to forgive them? First of all, understand why (s)he did that to you. Everyone does something for a reason, ...

How to Develop the Attitude of Forgiveness   (Strategic Steps to Forgive) 1. A willing heart : Forgiveness requires having the willingness to forgive. Do you wish you can forgive someone who has offended you? Maybe it has been many years, and you have realized if it's possible, then you will forgive him, but just that you do not know how to do it the right way. Forgiving someone does not necessarily mean becoming friends again, but rather what it means is to get rid of the hurt, the hatred, the bitterness and the anger that boil up in you upon hearing the voice of the person or the hearing of his name or when the thought of him comes into your mind, and wishing the person goodwill, that is what forgiveness is. So the mere fact that you will you can forgive and want to do that, is the first step. You hope you can genuinely smile and thank God for the life of the person because at least he has given you some experience indirectly. If you are willing to forgive, then, child of...

  Why You Should Forgive Even Without an Apology . Unforgiveness is like carrying a heavy load around that you don't have to. It takes away things from you that it can never replace; joy, happiness, peace, etc. When you forgive someone, you release yourself of that burden, because you are carrying the weight of the person's offense and still the pain that they cause you, that is why it is necessary to let go no matter who has wronged you or what they have done against you.  We say it is not easy to forgive after all that they have done to us, and the person has refused to apologize or even accept their mistakes. That is true because apology always comes before forgiveness.  It is true that there must be a form of regret or repentance from the offender to facilitate forgiveness; that even God does not forgive for the mere fact that we sin, but He waits for us to repent of that sin. An apology is necessary, but what if the person does not apologize or show any sign of reg...