How to Forgive

How to Develop the Attitude of Forgiveness 

(Strategic Steps to Forgive)

1. A willing heart: Forgiveness requires having the willingness to forgive. Do you wish you can forgive someone who has offended you? Maybe it has been many years, and you have realized if it's possible, then you will forgive him, but just that you do not know how to do it the right way.

Forgiving someone does not necessarily mean becoming friends again, but rather what it means is to get rid of the hurt, the hatred, the bitterness and the anger that boil up in you upon hearing the voice of the person or the hearing of his name or when the thought of him comes into your mind, and wishing the person goodwill, that is what forgiveness is. So the mere fact that you will you can forgive and want to do that, is the first step. You hope you can genuinely smile and thank God for the life of the person because at least he has given you some experience indirectly.

If you are willing to forgive, then, child of God, you are on track.

 Isaiah 1:19- If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;

2Thesalonians 3:5- May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.

2Corinthians - ESV-For if the readiness is there, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have.

 

2. Agape(Love): Build yourself up on the love of God inside you, on your heart. This love of God that is in God himself called Agape (the unconditional love) has been deposited in you to bring it out.

Rom 5:5 ASV: and hope putteth not to shame; because the love of God hath been shed abroad in our hearts through the Holy Spirit which was given unto us.

It is not something you are going to ask again from God. It is already given to you in your heart through the Holy Spirit. This love is not a feeling, but it is real inside you. Practice its use, and it will marvel you to know that there was such a great potential in you that you never knew. This love works by exercising it. Love itself is a choice, so you choose to love and apply it. Building on and practicing the love of God (agape) also shows or confirms the growth in your relationship with God Himself because God is Love and Love is God.

1 John 4:8,16

[8] He who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love.

[16] And we know (understand, recognize, are conscious of, by observation and by experience) and believe (adhere to and put faith in and rely on) the love God cherishes for us. God is love, and he who dwells and continues in love dwells and continues in God, and God dwells and continues in him.

Constant or regular study of the Word of God, the meditation on the goodness of God, and fellowship with the Holy Spirit, will catalyze the development of this love.


3. Longsuffering(patience): Longsuffering is having or showing patience despite the troubles, especially those caused by other people. Longsuffering is long, gentle endurance of insult, abuse, or mistreatment; patiently enduring lasting offense or hardship. Patience is the act of being patient. Patience is short term but very powerful, it protects your heart from damage. Patience is likened to a fuse in an electrical appliance. The fuse protects your electrical appliances. When the voltage is too high and there is an overcurrent, the fuse in the appliance will melt to shortcut the flow of current to prevent the appliance from getting damaged. That is exactly what patience does; it protects your heart from getting damaged from the hurts and pains caused. We want to develop longsuffering or patience because we know there is something good after the pain. 

Romans 8:25

[25] But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure.

Longsuffering is also making allowance for people and bearing or enduring with their mistakes because you have love(agape). You develop patience because you want to make peace and those who make peace are blessed, and they are called children of God.

Ephesians 4:2-3

[2] Living as becomes you] with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another, and making allowances because you love one another.

[3] Be eager and strive earnestly to guard and keep the harmony and oneness of [and produced by] the Spirit in the binding power of peace.

Matthew 5:9

[9] Blessed (enjoying enviable happiness, spiritually prosperous–with life-joy and satisfaction in God's favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the makers and maintainers of peace, for they shall be called the sons of God!


4. Faith/hope: Faith is the unquestionable confidence based on divine truth. Faith is coupled with hope here because it is also a trust in God for a better tomorrow. The reason you have to develop this virtue is that there is something glorious, wonderful, and better ahead of you and you don't want someone's offense and hurt to delay you or draw you back to zero. This is a faith in God, faith in yourself, faith in your destiny, and hope of greater and brighter tomorrow.

Do you know that the person who is seen as the worst person in society has something good in him or her? Yes, I know you do and it takes the eyes of hope to recognize this as something to rely or focus on to forgive the person. Study the Word of God every day, meditate on the mercies of God, and pray daily in the Holy Spirit.

Your faith and hope will grow and mature in Jesus' name... Amen.

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