How to Choose Your Partner (Things you must consider)

 

Choosing Your Partner

Meeting your partner can take place anywhere, but the criteria you use or the qualities you look out for are what matters whether your meeting will lead to courtship and eventually into marriage or not. This choice is not at once leading into marriage yet, but into a relationship where you are now going to study the person and look out for the other qualities that can convince you that this person is right for you to begin the marriage process. Before you choose a partner for courtship, there are certain fundamental facts/qualities you must consider first. 

You should not start a relationship with just anyone and say, after all, I am now going to study to know him or her so, no problem. Is this not the reason why, when a man proposes to a woman, mostly, she will tell him that she is going to think about it? Yes, it is. The lady will use that short period to figure out whether you possess the primary vital qualities to begin a courtship with you at all. 

These are the fundamental areas or qualities to consider before you agree to start a courtship or relationship with someone:

1. Beliefs: Does the person have the same opinion you have? such as whether you both believe the Bible and its words or the Quran and its words. That may not be for everyone, but if you are a believer, you must consider this point very well. The person must be a believer too. Christian must marry a Christian, and Muslim must marry a Muslim, Etc. Do not think I am trying to encourage division or anything. Already there is a problem concerning interreligious marriages which need to be solved in the high places first. You know you cannot change that unless you are marrying to move into the person’s religion. If you are a believer, do not enter any courtship with an unbeliever at all. It is not advisable. Unless you only want just date and fornicate only, but if you are going to study the person to marry then consider this very well.

Therefore, to avoid confusion soon and have peace, start a relationship with someone with the same set of beliefs as yours.

2. Tribe: Another area you have to consider in choosing someone to start a relationship with. Don't tell me you do not care about it especially if you are living in Africa. There are certain tribes that have vowed so many years ago never to allow their children to marry from some particular families and you must know this before you start relationship with anyone so that you don't become brokenhearted when your family rejects your partner.

A lady told me how that she had a relationship with a man for 4years but later the man told her that his parents want him to marry from his tribe so they broke up. They did not know it will come to that neither did they know that this problem was in the family.

Another lady Told me, she had a relationship with a guy for 5years but the family rejected their union. According to her, she knew the problem was there but she thought it will change, and it didn't. Do not be like her in this matter, get to know it.

An African family don't mind if their son marries a white lady, but when it comes to their fellow Africans, they consider tribe before they allow the marriage. It is sad. Not every family that go by that, in fact, in some families everyone goes, but you find out first ok.

    3. Appearance: There are people who say that appearance doesn't matter when it comes to love, yet this same people will look at a fair lady and fall in love with her. Everybody has what attracts him so stick to what is pleasant to your eyes. Don't start a relationship with a dark skinned person when you know that you are strongly attracted to a fair one. Don't start a relationship with a slim man when you know you are attracted to a fat or plumb one. You may cause problems to yourself in the future.

There are indeed some people who really don't care about appearance, if you are that type, fine, but if you are not, then open your eyes.

 4 . Reasoning: No one wants to marry a child. Anyone whose reasoning is like a child is not fit for a marital relationship. Listen, what a child always likes to do is to make demands. Anyone who turns to force you verbally into having a relationship with him or her is not fit for you. Your will, opinions, rights, decisions must be respected. If someone cannot wait for you make your decisions, then he did not come for good.

Remember, it does not take even up to a month to know all the above facts about the one you want to start a relationship with. By talking in a conversation with the person for a day or more, you can know all.

May God help your choice.